Divorce and Children

Posted at 4:50 pm on 01/21/2015 by Powlin V. Manuel MD, MBA, MS.
During my practice of pediatrics for  38 years, one event that emotionally haunt many children perhaps is the divorce their parents. Being unable to cope with the differing mind-set of their parents, many unpleasant emotional states, mainly anxiety, become manifest. I try to reassure the children that it is not their fault; their parents are moving in different directions, and that, more than fifty percent of other children also face the same problems in their lives. 

Parents failing to fulfill their dreams and goals with the first partner in life, go on to settle their lives with a new partner, without knowing the that the second marriage results in divorce sixty percent of times. We, as a society, have not figured out what causes such a common incidence of divorces in families. Studies have shown that “abundance of and strengths in relationship” between couples is related to “both partners being independently secure and have feeling of worth even when not in relationship”.That means, for stability of family life, it is important for both parents to feel a sense of security on their own. Often the couples not understanding the “expectations associated with gender roles” because of distinct “family of origin” can increase the chances of divorce”,(Shinbaum,V.J.,2012). In other words, coming from a different cultural background can increase the chances of divorce. Parents from different cultures sometimes end up trying harder to keep the communication clearer to maintain the stability of their marriage. I just hope that parents understand the emotional distress caused by their divorce in state of mind of their children.

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